It was 10:45 am on May 27 which was children’s day. I was preparing my son for his outing so we could both have a good day together as my job has been hindering me from spending quality time with him.
I was dressing my little Adedayo up, we were having a little mother-son argument. Trust children and the way they can’t keep their minds and eyes of their new stuffs. My son had insisted he wanted to wear the new agbada which his dad just made for him, while I wanted him to do polo and a shirt. No explanation I gave to my young man would make him change his mind, “you know we don’t have a car and it could rain” My little man just started crying…
I heard some voices at the front of our house, it was a woman shouting. “Adedayo will you keep quiet,” I rushed to the corridor of the house. “Pay me back my money, you promised us a Visa to the United Kingdom” the woman kept shouting at the top of her voice, while my husband just stood still. All I could just say was “not again, not again!”
I got married at the age of 24 to a man I met where I was posted to for NYSC. Tall, dark and soft spoken, I was convinced he was the man of my dreams. When we met he told me that he worked with an International organisation but he was currently on a study leave for two years. We got married six months after we met and we managed our finances as my salary was just 35,000 Naira at the time.
Two years after, my husband wasn’t talking about resuming his job and I became worried. When I asked him, he said he was already suspended from the job even before our wedding, and he was afraid to tell me, because he didn’t want to lose me. I then told him to look for another job being a graduate, I told him to dust his certificate and prepare his CV, and my husband couldn’t come up with anything.
I became suspicious, he claimed to have done his NYSC in Oyo, I was so inquisitive and I decided to check each and every name under that batch and the year, I flipped each of the pages carefully, almost a thousand times, I couldn’t find my husband’s name in the Corpers’ magazine. Alas I have been duped! I shivered, I cried, water kept coming out of my eyes uncontrollably, I tried to trace where I missed it, I blamed myself.
I ran to report him to his mother as his father is late. She told me he was rusticated from school in his second year in the University. I looked at her in disbelief, so my mother-in-law couldn’t even tell me the truth? why did everyone play a smart game on me? When I asked her, she said she thought I knew about it, though I could sense some sincerity in her voice. She encouraged me to endure and make sure he starts a business.
When I got home, I confronted him; I was screaming at the top of my voice, I asked him where he has been getting money for our upkeep. Holding my hands and crying like a baby, he said he has been involved in internet scam (Yahoo Yahoo) I ran to tell my elder sister, and all she could remind me was that she never approved of our marriage from the onset. My mother being a staunch Christian asked that I go on a twenty-one day fast for God to give him a change of heart, I prayed, I fasted, I cried but still my husband will not look for a legitimate job.
My husband has also started duping people telling them he would help them secure a visa to the UK, Dubai or Canada for them. This is the third time they are coming to our residence to shout, and he has once been arrested. It is been two weeks since the last incidence happened, he has been begging me that he will turn a new leave.
My husband is very gentle and homely, he has never raised his hands to beat me, he takes good care of me and Adedayo, and I can say he has been faithful to me. I do not love him as I used to again because each and every day I feel betrayed, I look at myself in the mirror and that thing tells me I am the wife of a fraudster. I am tired of fasting and praying all to no avail.
Should I leave my marriage?